July 23, 2015
She told him, “You know, you never even had to say nice things to me, or tell me you love me, I would have kissed you anyway.” He knew it was true.
She noticed everything he did that first day. As soon as she saw him arrive, she was nervous. He seemed pleasantly surprised to see her when he came around that corner and gave her that friendly hug before going inside. It wasn’t until they came outside again that she felt herself awakening.
As they talked, her grabbed her by the arms and pulled on her. She didn’t know what he was doing and she didn’t care, she instantly loved it. She instantly remembered she loved HIM.
Damn! He was talking to her! He was touching her! He was being absolutely adorable, making sure he was taller than her when he switched places with her on the curb. She knew right then she still had every feeling for him.
He knows the rest of the story, the rest of that day: flirting with her by messing with car doors, coming around asking about her and her family. Her wishing he would follow her away from the crowd and be alone with her… She inexplicably wanted him so badly!
All that story retelling to say this: This is not some temporary feeling, this is what he does to her. What they have together is one of a kind, and they are NOT DONE. They are not even close to over.
They had their first moment of real, “What the fuck are we doing?!” clarity the day before. Their openness and honesty was terribly painful for them both, but it served a purpose. She heard the real him; the him she loves. The him she ardently hoped would always be genuine with her.
And he heard the real her; the her who cannot lie to him, even a lie by omission. She wants to tell him everything, because she wants him to know ALL of her. She believes he feels the same way.
Every tear she shed that day was for them. The them she longs for, the them that might have been, that might still be.
He is what occupies her thoughts. More specifically, how much she misses him does. She wants him always. To hear his voice, hear him say her name, hear him call her baby, and whisper that he loves her so no one else hears it.
She wants to always see his smile. The smiles he gives her are perfection. She wants to forever look into his eyes and get lost in their cocoa depths.
She wants to lose herself in him, and miraculously find herself there.
She wants to spend forever kissing his every freckle. She wants to kiss him everywhere, every inch, over and over again.
She wants to hold him in her arms and be held by him.
She wants to lay her head on his chest, and hear his heart beat for her.
She wants, she wants, she wants. It all sounds so selfish. But she is madly in love with him. “Head over heels,” as he said to her.
She is not done seeing him. She is not done kissing him. She is not done making love to him. She’s just not.
He can stop anytime he would like, but she cannot. She is his. Full on in love, perfect for this man, soulmates.
She loves him. She ADORES him. And she is not letting him go. EVER.