Today she poured out her heart, her soul, her fears, her hopes, and her dreams to him, then she had a revelation:
He is too afraid of change to make the move to be with her. He is no coward, believe that. And fear of change isn’t cowardice, it’s human nature. But he will not disrupt his life or his family to be with her; the change is too much for him to bear.
Honestly, she can’t blame him. She probably would have felt the same if her husband hadn’t left. But in his leaving, she discovered how long and deep she had been miserable. It was soul crushing misery. It took her very identity from her and made her into someone she never thought she could be.
No one should have to live so unhappily. She realized that when he left, so rather than beg him to stay, to work it out, to see it through, she let him go, and began seeking her own happiness and her true self.
Now she is in love with the man of her dreams, the man she has wanted her whole life, the man who is perfect for her and for whom she is perfect. Perfect in all ways, save one…
And so she must decide where to go from here, and she must do it on her own. She knows he will not help her decide. She fears he will not make a change. She knows her heart will never recover from that. She is terrified he will stay where he is, because it feels safer than the unknown; even if he is unhappy there.
She really has no more time to be unhappy these days; life is too precious and too short.
Yes, she loves him. Yes, she wants him. But she has to accept and believe that she does not need him. It will kill her if she thinks otherwise. She has to trust she can make it on her own even if she has no one to share her life with anymore or ever again. The thought scares her shitless, but she is stronger than she thinks, and she can do this alone. In fact, she already does.